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Atronax, the Swift Dragon10
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Atronax, the Swift Empty Atronax, the Swift

Post by Atronax on Thu Apr 28, 2016 4:55 pm

Atronax, the Swift Fvbhft
Personal Info
Name: Atronax
Alias: Swift Shadow
Age: 40~
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: A youthful dragon yet wise beyond his years at the cost of a less than easy upbringing. This affords him great ingenuity in surviving alone in the harsh wilderness and knowing when to fight and when to flee. He is also very analytical of every situation he finds himself him. Always making quick profiles in his head of other dragons he meets and making a note of escape routes or hidey holes when in rooms full of his peers.

As all youths are, he can be very sociable and friendly to friends and strangers alike, however he will never make the mistake of actually trusting you. If coerced into a fight, he will not grace his opponent with the option of diplomacy but neither is he a cold blooded killer. His first instinct will always be to incapacitate his prey before getting to the heart of the matter.
Interests: Observing human civilisation from a safe distance, Hunting and Tracking, Flying at incredible speeds and testing his limits.
Dislikes: Politics, aggressively dominant dragons, keeping his feet on the ground
Fears: Skywings, Rogues, Semi-Gods

General Appearance
Height: 25 feet
Scales: Jet Black in colour, young and vibrant, a thicker layer of scales encompassing his spine
Eyes: Pure White
Appearance: Atronax is slim but not unhealthily so, his scales evenly covering his entire body with a pitch black shade except for his underbelly and neck which adopts a more cool grey hue.

His horns are healthily developed, reaching to a modest height above his head and a straight line of spikes trails down his spine, keeping to a streamlined curve all the way down to the tip of his tale which is adorned with a pair of mandible like horns that curve inward on eachother.

His wings are where his strength truly likes. Tall, leathery canvases of sturdy flesh crowned by muscular, scaled spines. They're extremely fitting for propelling the young tracker high into the air in almost the blink of an eye.

His claws are also fairly impressive. They remain sheathed within the confines of his paws when not hunting.. However when the need arises, the viscously long scythes reach to a deadly length to eviscerate his prey.

Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: Nightwing
Inheritance: 70% Nightwing, 30% Skywing
Rank: Tracker
Family: All Deceased except for one Sister
Mate: None
Hatchlings: None

Skills and Abilities
Strengths: Thanks to his Skywing heritage, Atronax is Fast. Extremely so. This drastically makes up for his somewhat small stature and lack of physical braun compared to the behemoths of his tribe. He also has great knowledge in surviving out in the wilderness and keeping hidden, striking from the shadows.

Special Abilities:
Being part Skywing affords Atronax a great advantage in speed and quick reflexes over his Nightwing bretheren. He is of course by no means swifter or as swift as a pure breed Skywing but he can put his Nightwing peers to shame in a race and then some any day of the week. He also feels much more at home with wings spread and soaring through the skies above.

Aside from being naturally stealthy and ludicrously fast, Atronax has spent many years mastering his own body, allowing him the useful ability of reducing his bodily functions to an absolute minimum. Heartbeat and breathing come almost to a complete standstill, allowing him great affinity in remaining hidden. However, this state can not be sustained for very long. Three or four minutes at the most and if a dragon is patient enough to stand and listen, they will eventually pick up the thump of a distant heartbeat.

His natural senses have also been finally tuned in his profession of hunting and tracking to be able to see vast distances and hear the tiniest of sounds. When using his simulated death ability however, these senses become null and void given that complete concentration must be given to staying on the tip of conciousness.

Weaknesses: Atronax is severely lacking in raw physical strength compared to his peers, relying heavily on his reflexes and his ability to strike from the shadows to win the day. One square hit from a larger dragon can send this poor drakes head spinning for days.

Combat Style: Swift, precise and silent. Atronax takes every opportunity to avoid a face to face fight, opting instead to strike at his opponent from several seemingly random directions before disappearing into nothingness, leaving his slower prey disorientated and anxious before finally swooping in for a swift and deadly kill.

Background
History: Atronax was the smallest of a three egg clutch. Just mere days after the three whelps broke free of their shells, their parents were tragically thrown from the sky during a hunting run by a band of rogue dragons. The eldest of the three whelps and a future behemoth guardian took it upon himself to protect and feed his two younger clutch siblings, having already learned how to flex his young wings.

He was not a kind brother, however. His method of keeping his siblings alive was something more akin to a drill sergeant breaking his newest recruits. They survived by dining on small rodents and other lesser creatures and staying out of the open until they were strong enough to seek bigger prey.

His arrogance did him no favours later in life as a rain of human ballista fire brought him to his end. Though Atronax has not forgotten who it was that taught him everything he knows today about hunting and he still mourned his brothers loss. By this time, Atronax and his sister were big enough to brave the world on their own.

RP Sample: The Stag stood proudly among it's herd, ear tufts twitching and turning it's small head mounted with sky scraping antlers as it kept watch for predators. Then it paused.. A rustle in the bushes causes the stag to bolt for the cover of the forest, his herd swiftly darting off behind him.

The Stag stops and looks back to check on his herd, confusion filling it's eyes as it stands alone and peerless in the dark cover of the looming tree tops. It turns it's head again to peer into the frigid mists, a pair of piercing white eyes meets its gaze.

It's over in a flash! Atronax springs forward like a shadow fleeing from death itself, claws sinking deep into the Stags hide and teeth rending it's neck to bring it a swift death! The young dragon stops and looms over his fresh kill.. He sits quietly for a moment and stares at the bloodied stag carcass, large curious eyes pondering goodness knows what as he then pulls himself upright and sweeps up the kill in his fang lined maw.

A single beat of his wings and he's soaring into the clouds above, off to enjoy dinner in peace.


Last edited by Atronax on Fri Apr 29, 2016 5:12 am; edited 1 time in total
Atronax
Atronax

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Atronax, the Swift Empty Re: Atronax, the Swift

Post by Aero Dynamic on Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:17 pm

Hello Atronax and welcome to DRF! I'm Aero, a forum moderator here and will be reviewing your app today.

Personality

'A youthful dragon yet wise beyond his years at the cost of a less than easy upbringing.'

This needs to be explained more in his strengths. How smart is he? Is he combat smart or book smart? The only slight explanation I see is that he has great knowledge of the wilderness, but how is that 'wise beyond his years?'

Appearance

'His wings are where his strength truly likes. Tall, leathery canvases of sturdy flesh crowned by muscular, scaled spines. They're extremely fitting for propelling the young tracker high into the air in almost the blink of an eye.'

This one isn't too big, but the description of his wings could be put under strengths.

Strengths

'Atronax is Fast. Extremely so.'

How fast can he go? Nowhere in his app does it say he's part SkyWing, and by the looks of it you're trying to make him go nearly as fast as one. Try putting a speed in there so we know just how fast he can go.

Special Abilities

'Aside from being naturally stealthy and ludicrously fast, Atronax has spent many years mastering his own body, allowing him the useful ability of reducing his bodily functions to an absolute minimum. Heartbeat and breathing come almost to a complete standstill, allowing him great affinity in remaining hidden.'

With that it virtually allows him to not be found by any dragon. Even the most trained assassin would have a hard time finding him. Not only that but it could kill him. I'd recommend putting a limit on it, mostly for how long he can do it for.

'His natural senses have also been finally tuned in his profession of hunting and tracking to be able to see vast distances and hear the tiniest of sounds.'

If you combine this with the one above, he can practically be off the radar while watching everyone else. Unless explained in weaknesses that he can't do both at once, it pretty much lets him do this at the same time for however long he wants to. Limit needed.

Please address the appointed problems, and bump when the changes are made.
Aero Dynamic
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Atronax, the Swift Empty Re: Atronax, the Swift

Post by Tenebris on Fri Apr 29, 2016 5:02 am

Just to make a note in retaliation to the Speed. Yes we know Skywings speed is meant to be unrivalled in relation to the different Tribes, however we don't know their specific speed, and if we do it needs to be made known for new members. In addition to that, Atronax might be extremely fast for NightWing standards, as we know you can have some Humans extremely faster than others. I suggest that Atronax is far more skilled in his speed and aerobatics than your average Nightwing as it may simply be down to a strict training regime, he may not be as grand as a Skywing, but he makes no such mention of claiming a higher speed than them in the application. On the site as well, regarding speed we have no chart or comparison to what Speeds the averages of each Tribe can fly at.

Just to note as well, you'll have to make adjustments to our own character sheet Areo, as one of your strengths is merely "Very smart and very fast"... Without any explanation, yes you're part Skywing, but does this make your "Very fast" compared to their standards... Or who's?

In regards to "His wings are where his strength truly likes. Tall, leathery canvases of sturdy flesh crowned by muscular, scaled spines. They're extremely fitting for propelling the young tracker high into the air in almost the blink of an eye."
This is a perfect description of the Character, I honestly can't see why this would be put into the Strengths, as clearly this is just an explanation of his physical robustness and appearance, yes it shows were his strengths lay, however, essentially its his appearance.

The only thing I personally see what needs to be changed it perhaps a clarification of his Speed that its above the normal standard for Nightwings and for his special abilities to be amended to Areo's comments.

_______________________
Tenebris's Bio
A look at one of Tenebris's Publications as a Scholar

Tenebris's backstory

"Destiny isn't a matter of chance, its a matter of choice. Only we can claim our Destiny when the path opens" ~ Tenebris lamenting.

"Oftentimes in reality, the realists are in the position of the antihero. Neither those on the side of good, nor the side of bad really trust them, as their truth is universal." ~ Tenebris, Archon of the Ebonwing Potentate.

Atronax, the Swift Tenebr10
Tenebris
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Archon of the Nightwings

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Atronax, the Swift Empty Re: Atronax, the Swift

Post by Atronax on Fri Apr 29, 2016 5:14 am

BUMP!

Adjusted according to advice given and also changed heritage to be part Skywing as justification for the higher than average speed compared to Nightwings

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Atronax, The Swift
Atronax
Atronax

Male Cancer Dog
Posts : 14
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Age : 26
Location : UK

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Atronax, the Swift Empty Re: Atronax, the Swift

Post by Tenebris on Fri Apr 29, 2016 5:19 am

Approved
Welcome mate xD

_______________________
Tenebris's Bio
A look at one of Tenebris's Publications as a Scholar

Tenebris's backstory

"Destiny isn't a matter of chance, its a matter of choice. Only we can claim our Destiny when the path opens" ~ Tenebris lamenting.

"Oftentimes in reality, the realists are in the position of the antihero. Neither those on the side of good, nor the side of bad really trust them, as their truth is universal." ~ Tenebris, Archon of the Ebonwing Potentate.

Atronax, the Swift Tenebr10
Tenebris
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Archon of the Nightwings

Male Aquarius Pig
Posts : 567
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Age : 24

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