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Karic (Pending Firewing)

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Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:43 pm

don't quite know how to copy an image into bbl since, despite all creativity, my art is horrible but I found one that may work
Type of Character: (Dragon)
Link to Character List Page: http://www.rpgdragons.org/t5032-christof18-s-characters#62622
Personal Info
Name: Karic
Alias: The Thinker
Age: 8 yah(years after hatching)
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: Karic has a “strange” personality. He’s often called an eccentric. He has a habit of overthinking a plan, then not pulling through with it. He appears to move so much, it’s often suggested that he gets dizzy if he stops, this may explain his sleepwalking. He sadly feels he’s useless before running off on his own to tackle a problem because other dragons tend to make fun of him thinking and pacing. When he completely loses it, which happens almost on a daily basis, the situation tends to be a bit odd because at best everyone gets ignored, at worst he may not be the only one hurt. (sorry!)
Fears: fear of dark that tends to force him to give himself away  
Strengths: Can quickly formulate plans and can improvise a different way to do things almost instantaneously (though in battle  he doesn't improvise much in battle due to "too much action for one as young as me" (his words not mine lol)), is quite a thinker.
Weaknesses: Will (a bit too often) value friendship over loyalty and rules, can get angry easily, sometimes he over thinks and could overheat. Also, let’s just say Karic won’t be fighting Nightwings anytime soon. Seawings also hurt him more due to his heritage. Attacks that were combined due to him are a bit weaker than separate attacks.

General Appearance
Height: 18 ft
Scales: red (appears to be in teardrop pattern), with (sometimes) glowing markings on his legs
Eyes: blazing violet
Appearance: a somewhat small dragon with dark red scales, designs that tend to glow, obsidian-dark claws, blazing purple eyes (not shown in pic), firestone wings, sharp looking spikes and horns (not fully in the pic), and a “beard.” He appears to be lost in thought. You feel like, although no weapons other than his natural ones are present, the aggressive expression shows you wouldn’t be around when he notices you.

Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: Firewing
Inheritance: Purebred
Rank: hachling
Family: Mother: unknown, Father: unknown (most likely dead), sister: unknown
Mate: N/A
Hatchlings: N/A

Skills and Abilities
Special Abilities: other-worldly senses (can, at random, see, hear, and smell better than usual but can't quite control when it happens (5+ min gap, 3 times/6 hours). When, however, if the location he's brought to by this power is too far away (6 mi (roughly 10 km) he tends to get stunned and unable to move or attack. It also has a time limit of 1 min per activation.) (this ability probably wouldn't be possible without the "paper in a bag" trick. Slow, but truly random lol)

fire breath

resistance to cold

Combat Style: ...will typically go deference while taunting them (trying to send them in a rage, no doubt about that), stun them somehow, then go fully offensive

Background
History: Stolen by humans just before hatching, Karic never knew his family, and he can never remember most of when he was stuck with humans (he was trapped in a cage, only allowed the minimal to survive). He was broken out when another dragon nearby caused a lot of commotion by escaping and going on a rampage. It took about a year to find his home. After that, other than the occasional, sudden raids, things we’re pretty peaceful, though he only recently found out that he had a sister and is now searching for his family before he becomes a trainee. He knows life will get hard quickly, partially because he doesn’t currently know whether he’ll be a guardian or a tracker.
RP Sample: you'll know soon enough. Troll Face


Last edited by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 5:15 pm; edited 6 times in total

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Mon Oct 09, 2017 2:58 pm

Hello there and welcome to DRF! I'm Baldirak, one of the Admins here and I'll be reviewing your app, so let's get started and get you roleplaying here as soon as possible!

So to start, you can remove the likes and dislikes. There is no place for them because they are no longer required in an app.

For your first strength, "he can formulate plans and can improvise a different way to do things almost instantaneously".. this is fine as long as it isn't something that would come into play in combat (as a Hatchling).

Now onto your special ability. "He can combine abilities that don't normally combine" What abilities? While you may only have one special ability, you can still have as many normal abilities (like fire breath or being able to withstand cold temperatures) as you want. So please list all of the abilities he has, what they do, etc. Then you can go into more detail with your special ability, such how many of these abilities he can combine at once.

Let me know when you've made these changes and if you have any questions.
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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Mon Oct 09, 2017 6:02 pm

bump*

explained some things, changed special

still need help in a catagory

*don't quite know what it means but since it is often used...

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:04 pm

Alrighty so, to make it easier for me to tell how many abilities you have , could you separate all your abilities

Like

This?
And make sure only your special ability is next to Special Abilities

Also, immunity to cold is not an ability you could have. As a purebred FireWing, you would be very resistant to cold, but not immune. And what exactly is inner fire? If this is an ability that makes your fire breath hotter than normal or something like that, then this would be your one special ability and you would need to tell how much hotter your fire breath gets, how long it lasts, and how often you can use the ability.

What category do you need help with?
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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 3:38 pm

bump

pulled though with what you said

changed name to the same one of that as my W101 main, let's see people make Karic their dragon's name. I also like the sound of it. Too bad I couldn't think of a "G" name, that would've been awesome.

almost made you give the same complaint twice, sorry.

sorry I took so long, and sadly, I'll have to wait until, at latest, Saturday if I mess up because of two tiny problems called school and a HBO Show where everyone dies Sad .

and make it TWO things I need help with (picture and sexuality)

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:14 pm

It's fine.

So, first (forgot about this earlier, sorry!) you should point out that your special ability is very weak right now because you are just a Hatchling and not an adult.

Next, as is your special ability won't be accepted. It can't have an infinite charge time. There needs to be a set number of time it takes to completely charge it. You said he can use it before it's charged but the result is random--it could barely be charged or be fully charged. Again that won't be accepted. If you can use the ability without even charging it, then why do you need to charge it at all?

You can get rid of the part about the ability being activated by using fire breath. That means that you can use the ability nonstop until he starts to overheat. And what do you mean by "it can't be countered"?

For the picture, you put

For sexuality, is your character attracted to the opposite gender? If so, he's heterosexual. If he likes the same gender, he's homosexual. If he is attracted to both, he's bisexual. And I have no idea what pansexual is so don't worry about that one.
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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:45 pm

bump

Took care of 3 problems by changing the special ability to something that's (hopefully) not OP like the old one, since it's (hopefully) easier to understand (I believe what made the old one so powerful was that it was hard to understand but I actually thought about AND ANSWERED most of these problems, but I guess I need to work on organization. LOL!)

Couldn't do the pic since I forgot exactly where I got it (to be honest, I believe it got taken down)

got the other blank fixed.

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Tue Oct 10, 2017 5:08 pm

It's okay. And you can always add the pic later.

How many times does his special ability activate?
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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 5:12 pm

Christof18 wrote:Took care of 3 problems by changing the special ability to something that's (hopefully) not OP like the old one, since it's (hopefully) easier to understand

cat Whoops! Forgot to credit Erin Hunter! the ability was originally set-up like Dovewing's, who can sense thing before she even opened her eyes! (to those who were reading Warriors, sorry for spoiling a moment.) cat

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 5:22 pm

bump

gave credit when I forgot to before (read above)

I've been keeping track and it is 10 posts long and counting, but I'm okay with it, so long as it's nice and realistic while still organized.

Limited special ability even more by saying how many times it randomly activates (he still has yet to know how to activate it at will)

also how many DP will it take to be able to modify an existing Special Ability?

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:17 pm

going to have to wait quite a while... sorry. Crying or Very sad

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:25 pm

Try not to post more than once in a row. If you need to add anything you forgot to mention, just edit your last post.

So he can use the ability 3 times every 6 hours?
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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Christof18 on Fri Oct 13, 2017 4:10 pm

Thanks for the tip, I simply did what I did because I saw you on and made a horrible assumption. Sorry.

Yeah... SURPRISE! This will actually help me because of my schedule, so I kind of decided on that, this was helped by the fact that Karic is still just a hatching.

Sorry I took long, but my schedule is even more limited than that of an average student/developer (yeah, I make RPs in my free time).

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Re: Karic (Pending Firewing)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:39 pm

It's okay. And don't worry about not being on all the time.

Anyway, this app is now approved!

Would you like your username changed to your character's name?
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