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1st Character

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1st Character

Post by KingofSparta2015 on Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:25 pm

Type: Earthwing
Name: Emeraldite
Alias: none
Age: 8 years, 10 months, 134 days
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Straight
Personality: Curious, always wants to know the why’s and how’s, quick to anger, Individualitstic, solitary, Anti-social, always puts on the Tough Guy act so that no one can learn about his tragic past (detailed in background/story), protective, doesn’t take no for an answer, insistent, quick thinker, cunning, thinks he is superior to everyone else
Fears: people finding out about his past, and not liking him or hunting him down because of it.
Strengths: is stronger than the normal dragon his age due to his past, can hold his breath for long periods of time, up to 40 hours, intelligent, attentive, notices things other people miss, strategizing
Weaknesses: Over-confident, there is a spot on his sides where he was once wounded, but never healed right, leaving the spot with almost no scales (he always has his wing covering it, and wears a plate made of hardened dirt the same consistency as concrete over it to defend the spot), his quick to anger personality usually overrides his strength at strategic planning, making him rash and have no patience
General Appearance
Height: 89 feet 10 inches tall
Scales: Emerald color, arranged all over his back and sides in overlapping layers, acting as several layers of armor
Eye Color: Emerald Green
Appearance: Emerald colored scales, one horn on his head, right at his nose, massive wings, 4 claws on a paw, tail that ends in a spearpoint, making stabbing with his tail a valid attack, but not slashing
Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: none
Inheritance: 80% Earthwing, 20% Seawing
Rank: Hatchling
Family: Gyoritur (Father) Vurithra (mother) Gydreu (sister)
Mate: N/A
Hatchlings: N/A
Skills and Abilities
Special Abilities: Can cause a layer of his scales (he has 3 overlapping layers of scales for defence, kind of like Fish-Scale armor from China) to shoot off him in all directions, or just off his tail with a flick of it, scales act like shrapnel from a grenade, and regrow fully by the end of 5 days later, can spit acid and has venom saliva in bites

Combat Style: Fights with a grace that struggles constantly against his brute strength, always trying to limit the ways and speed of an opponent before engaging for real, like attacking wings or legs
Background
History: When he was 4 years old, a group of rouge dragons attacked his family. During the battle, Both of his parents were killed, and he barely escaped with his sister Gydreu. When he was 5, another rouge dragon attacked him and his sister, and during the battle he was unable to properly defend his sister, and she was fatally wounded as a result. During the rage that ensued inside him when his sister collapsed, he was struck by a blast from one of the dragons in his side, destroying a section of his scales that never healed. He slaughtered the remaining dragons with no mercy, and when he went to check on his sister, she died in his arms. Swearing to himself that he would never allow anyone to get close to him again, he started to get stronger and more able to survive on his own, for his older sister had done more of the hunting. He got tough to avoid having the same fate as his family, and stays away from other dragons so they cannot find out about his past, thinking they would call him a Dragon murderer for his slaughter of the attacking dragons. Everyone he gets close to dies, so to save him the grief and sadness, he insults everyone constantly so that they would never think of getting close to him. He is currently 8 years old, and still hasn’t been found by any tribe’s trackers. Living on his own in a cave on the edge of Earthwing territory, he wonders when he will be found, but hopes he never is.


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Re: 1st Character

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:38 pm

I'm not going to be too picky about how you made the bio, so let's get right to what needs to be fixed.

Firstly, 89ft is way too tall for a Hatchling. So bring his height down to a more appropriate height for his age, maybe 10ft. Next, you're going to need to change his history. It is impossible for a Hatchling to be able to kill a group of adult Dragons. You can still have him be stronger than a typical 8 year old, but please elaborate on what you mean by that. Do you mean physically strong and if so, how much?

Next, because he is only 20% SeaWing, he's not going to be able to hold his breath for up to 40hrs. As a Hatchling, and only 20% SeaWing, he'd be able to hold his breath, maybe an hour or two. Whenever you decide to make him older, you can increase the time.

Finally, with your special ability, how many scales can you launch at a time and how fast do they travel? What does his venom do? Also, it should be stated that you have resistance to toxins and venom, but are not immune to it.

Let me know when you've made these changes and if you have any questions, please ask, I'll be happy to help!
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Baldirak Sapiens Draco
Grand Champion Y1 Earthwing King
Grand Champion Y1 Earthwing King

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