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Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

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Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Fri May 26, 2017 8:15 am

Name: Zeoldrerrith
Age: 130
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Normal
Personality: Zeoldrerrith is a quiet, outgoing, and busy dragon. he is mysterious sometimes, because he goes to places that few dragons go. he is also alarmed of his surrounding, and he is watchful of his self and hatchlings, just in cause something or someone is hurting them.
Fears: Basophobia (Falling), Aquaphobia (because hes a Bone Dragon), and Enochlophobia (crowds). Strengths: he is good at the following things:
keen eyesight
good smelling
can detect small things (like hatchlings, food, etc.)
Weaknesses: Water, lava, basically anything that is a liquid.

Height: 25 feet
Scales: no scales. he is made out of bone, a human wizard made him (story at bottom of screen)
Eyes: dim glowing green
Appearance: in his ribs are a glowing green ball. this is his power charger, which regenerates every 10 mins because it takes a whole lot of stamina, also, his creator didnt want him to be overpowered, so thats why he made him like that. rest is just bone and at his wings are light dragon skin (which allows him to fly). he is made of all kinds of bones, like deer,cow,sheep,dragon,etc.
alias: Keeper of the Dead
Tribe: Nightwing
Inheritance: im a bone mix of a lightwing, a wizard created me
Rank: Trainee
Family: no family
Mate: no mate
Hatchlings: none

Special Abilities: Well there are three. he can summond at least 10 sharp bones, flying to the nearest attacker (the bones not him) at 30 mph. Also, thanks to his glowing power charger, he can blast a light beam,but this takes a lot of energy and stamina. he can summond orbs to trap evil sprits, thats all. But, he only uses his beam if he really needs too, to not lose that much energy. Also it takes him 20 mins to recharge and 10 seconds to power up.

History: 30 years ago,in a castle, there lived a wizard. he thought that with bones, he can create something and bring it to life, so he decided to gather up a lot of bones (about 200). this took him almost a year, including the studying. when he had everything, he bring the dragon to life (which took a lot of power of course). he named the dragon Zeoldrerrith, as he found out that he can trap Evil sprits. he found out that the dragon didn't need food or air to survive, but he also knew that the dragon didnt like liquids, so he keep his potions out of reach. a few years later, when Zeoldrerrith was about to become 30 years old, the wizard sent him off to live on his own.


Last edited by Zeoldrerrirth on Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:38 am; edited 8 times in total
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Fri May 26, 2017 1:43 pm

If this isn't ready for review, you should put WIP in the title so we (staff) know it's still being worked on. Also, welcome to the site! If you have any questions, please let me know.
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Wed May 31, 2017 9:07 am

done. is this good?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Wed May 31, 2017 11:57 am

Alright, so first is his phobias. Can you explain what the first and last ones are?
His inheritance and special ability. He can fire a light beam--this is a LightWing ability. If you want to have this ability, he needs have LightWing inheritance.

Also, can you explain this power charger a bit more? Why does it regenerate every 15 seconds?

Finally, since he is not in a tribe, he has no rank. So Keeper of the Dead should be an alias.
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:01 am

fix it. anything else?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:53 pm

One more thing. Since it appears this power charger is what animates him and just being able to be "alive" requires so much energy and stamina that the power charger regenerates every 15 seconds, and his light beam also requires a lot of energy and stamina, I think maybe you should make this a sort of "last resort" thing. Something he uses only if he absolutely has to and when he does, it'll take his power charger a considerable amount of time to recharge. This way you wouldn't be overpowered by being able to use an ability that--considering your dragon is an animated skeleton--should affect how long he needs to recharge but doesn't.

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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Tue Jun 06, 2017 7:20 am

i was busy 4 the next past days, so it took me a while to fix. but i fixed it anyway Smile
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Tue Jun 06, 2017 12:55 pm

How long does it take for him to recharge after using the beam?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:02 am

is the number good?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Wed Jun 07, 2017 10:29 pm

You now have that his power charger regenerates every 10mins, which is fine, but how long does it take after he uses his light beam?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:50 am

same thing Very Happy

i know its a little bit confusing
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:01 am

Yeah, it is. You could keep the regeneration at 10mins then bump the light beam up to 20. Like I said, it ought to take a considerable amount of time to recharge after using the light beam since it requires a lot of energy and stamina.

And thanks for being so patient Smile
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:36 am

Sorry for the long wait! was busy.

anyway i fixed it. same thing goes to you since it took me forever to get back

btw i changed his age and my pic, just saying
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Mon Jun 12, 2017 2:24 pm

It's fine, no worries. You've got that it takes his light beam 10mins to recharge and 20secs to power up. Just switch it around so its 10secs to power up and 20mins to recharge.
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Zeoldrerrirth on Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:44 am

ooohhh okay. i fixed it, anything else???


one more question, can i be a trainee for a guardian? in Nightwing territory?
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Re: Zeoldrerrirth, Keeper of the Dead

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:38 pm

Wow, I didn't even notice this, but you posted your app in the wrong place. It should have been in the Creation Center. You had it in Site Rules, but no worries, I moved it for you.

As long as it isn't a high rank, which you have to apply for, you can have any rank you want... as long as you're actually in a tribe. So yes, you can be a Guardian Trainee! Smile

Also.... Approved!
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