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Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

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Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:45 pm


(Teenager)


(Adult)

Personal Info
Name: Corrinus Sur Silvestreiss, or just Corrin Silvestreiss. Yeah, I know you got the reference.
Alias: Prodigium Magus (Mage Prodigy, or just Prodigium/Prodigy).
Age: About a day old. Literally.
Gender: Obviously a male.
Sexuality: Asexual, with a romantic orientation towards dragonesses .
Personality: It's difficult to explain his personality. Corrinus is naturally a sweet, kind and loving dragon, that values life over everything. His way of acting generally makes people think he is a cheerful person, but he is actually, deep inside, a gloomy, depressive dragon that will avoid any unnecessary contact with anyone, only interacting with others if the situation has something to do with someone being under threat, danger, or anything of that sort. He has a deep trust on his instincts, and will not hesitate on putting himself in danger to fulfill one of his goals.
 As an adult, he talks politely, treating other dragons with education. He still have traces of the depression he had on his childhood, but they are very hard to notice. He's grown to be an excentric, friendly and exceptionally happy dragon, that loves to take life onwards on a peaceful way.
Romantically, he is a gentleman towards any and every pretendent, but he's never shown real interest (Most of the advances, if not all, are made by the pretendents, not by himself.) in any of them. To become his mate, one would have to be extremely persistent, with an unwavering determination. He also possess an extreme patience on this case, given that he's a really popular dragon, if you know what I mean.
 He's a magic enthusiastic, and whenever the topic of conversations or works come to anything related to magic, he'll start talking nonstop about how magic is wonderful, between many other things. However, if the topic's any other thing besides magic, he'll treat the conversation very poorly, often falling asleep while listening the other people's speech.
 
Interests:

Magic: For reasons unknown, Corrinus has taken an extreme liking towards magic. He spends most of his free-time reading articles, books, grimoires, everything that has something to do with magic, basically.

Flight: Corrinus feels like he doesn't belong to the ground, feeling locked on a cage whenever he's walking for too long. Instead, he believes he was born to fly, to become one with the clouds and to dance across the air. He is able to fly ever since he broke the shell of his egg, although on that time, he could barely glide properly.

Sleeping: Corrinus is an extremely lazy person sometimes, and he will do the best he can to find a peaceful place and... Just sleep. That had a meaning when he was still a hatchling (Which was, as said by him: "The current world's collapsing. So I think I'm better on the world of my dreams, where I'm safe from the harm. Where I'm safe from the misery. Where I'm safe... From the death."), but currently only serves him as something he likes to do.

Dislikes:

Disorganization: It's unknown if that's caused by some sort of obssession, but Corrinus hates to see anything out of it's proper place. He even goes as far as to feel dizzy whenever he spots something that's... Well, not on the place it belongs.

Conflicts: Corrinus hates conflicts above all, seeing them as unnecessary. He does the best he can to avoid fights, even if it means being punished or enduring harm until the person in question is satisfied. When he's forced to fight, he feels disgusted of himself, self-harming afterwards by freezing, generally by going on polar waters and standing there, floating until he thinks he's paid for the sins he commited.

Disturbs: There's nothing much to be said about this. Just a warn: If you ever disturb Corrinus while he's studying or sleeping, throw any chances you had to be friends with him away. He'll disgust you for as long as he lives. However, if you were already his friend, he'll just refuse to speak with you for about a week.

Fears:
Corrinus is Thanatophobic, meaning that he has extreme aversion towards death. He'll most certainly feel ill on the sight of a dead body, and he probably will collapse afterwards. This is a phobia he carries with himself ever since he came out of his egg, and he will continue to carry this burden until he dies. Some of his comrades used to joke about how he'll react when he sees his own dead body, but they stopped after noticing his depressive demeanor making a comeback.
General Appearance
Height: As a hatchling, he is about 2'3". However, at full size and as an adult hybrid of an Ebonwing and an Icewing, he stands for about surprising 95 foots, exceeding by a bit the usual height that hybrids like him usually acquire.
Scales: His scales are somewhat rounded and extremely well polished, to the point of glowing faintly with the sun, or even moonlight. They are placed all along his body, except from the chest area, given he's grown a chest plate. He posesses a thick layer of scales on his face that works as a mask. They are crystalline, with a shade of blue and are stronger than those he bears on most of his body.
Eyes: His eyes are, as of the moment, of a glowing aquamarine color, with black scleras. However, as he reaches adulthood, his eyes will lose their color, becoming just like a silver pool. This phenomenon is quite common on the dragon society, as it will happen sooner or later with every living dragon.
Appearance: Corrinus is, currently, a cute little hatchling. He would generally be on a black monotone, but, he possess Icewing heritage, which makes his body go on a darker shade of blue. His real skin is black, as shown on the very few parts that are exposed.
He may look like a normal Ebonwing to you at first sight, but his scales are made of a thicker, yet slippery material, that looks and feels just like ice, thus giving the blue shade to his body. His wings do not possess the usual coating that IceWings do, however, they are still covered by a material that protect the membrane from the cold weather. It is a much lighter coat, that allows him to fly like an equal to his Ebonwing comrades, however, not as fast. The coating has an appearance of blueish white spiked structures, that look just like feathers.
His tail is covered by several spikes, that intertwine with the ice-like scales, something that makes it look like it's thicker than normal. At the very end of it, there's an edge made out of what seems to be ice. However, it is an unbreakable, sharp material, what makes such structure extremely dangerous to others.
His claws are made of the same material as his tail's blade, but they are black in color, and are also sharper than the tailblade.

Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: Corrinus is a proud Ebonwing.
Inheritance: Corrinus is a cross, a hybrid between an Ebonwing and an Icewing. To be precise, he's 7/10 IceWing, 2/10 EbonWing and 1/10 FireWing.
Rank: He is still a hatchling.
Family: He was orphaned before his egg hatched.
Mate: Too young for that, mein freund.
Hatchlings: Whaaaaat. He's 1 day old, he can't do things like that!

Skills and Abilities
Strengths: Corrinus takes proud on his thought capacity and on his wings. His main strong points are mostly psychological, as he is, although being unaware of it, an extremely manipulative person, making people do his biddings with quite ease.
As of physical prowess, he takes pride on his reaction time and agility, a combination that would make most dragons deadly. But that does not serves him much, as the pacifist he is.
The only way his reaction time and agility serves him well is when he is flying. He can reach about 30 Mph as a hatchling (With a horrible air maneuver, I must say.) and 67 Mph as an adult, with or without any wind or weather conditions.
Special Abilities:
(Just an addendum. As of now, he does not possess any of said abilities, as he still is a hatchling. However, they will be matured enough for usage as soon as he reaches teenage. Their strength will reach their pinacle as he reaches maturity. But, again as of now, he can only use his blue fire breath and, sometimes, his gas breath. They are supposed to be that powerful with a huge drawback because of something that's yet to be revealed)

  • Poisonous Vapour: Corrinus can breath two types of gases, being one the usual sleeping gas that the EbonWings commonly breath, while the other one is more like a vapour. This vapour posesses toxins in it that forces the muscles to relax until a point the target can't move or even breathe properly, for about five minutes. This alone is useless, as it's range is awfully small, dispersing and loosing it's toxins if the target is at least 8' away from him. However, this can be used to fuel another ability that not only increases the range of the vapour, but also it's durability and effectiveness. Wink Wink.

  • Gas Darts: Corrinus is one of the select few that can breathe blue fire, although his blue fire is a toned down version, given his status as a hybrid. He can, however, use the coldness of it to freeze his "sleeping gas" (Which is actually an acid vapour, that pierces through the skin and releases special toxins that relaxes the muscles of his foes. His real gas breath needs to be released at point-blank, or else it won't reach the bloodstream in time, so he uses the darts in order to reach the said point-blank.) turning it into small shards of concentrated "gas". Those shards, if they ever come to hit the target, will work just as they normally would if he breathed them before the freezing proccess, on a similar way to how poison darts work. He can do whatever he desires with said "gas darts", from ground traps to many other usages, such as placing a certain amount of darts somewhere, waiting for it to melt so he can encase nearby dragons on the now disperse vapour. There's a limit to how much darts he can produce, as it is not his main breath (The Icewing heritage is stronger), however. He must use this ability carefully, or else he'll run out of "gas" supply, and out of energy, as it holds a deep burden on his body. He can even freeze his internal organs if he uses it too much, making the ability a double-edged knife.


  • Shadow Command: Corrinus can force the shadows to move and to materialize at will, allowing him to strike from all sides... If this ability wasn't limited to controlling his own shadow, or of those he's got permission to. It can be pretty useless, at the same time it can be used to change the tides of war. Once materialized, the shadows will not be able to shapeshift, however, they can and will be able to harm anyone and anything. They can pierce and cut through dragon hide, and can also have their attack direction manipulated at will. An example to this would be said shadows attacking from a dragon's front and then suddenly changing directions to pierce them from above. However, he cannot force materialization to more than one shadow at a time, and he can only use this every thirteen posts, as he must harm himself in some way in order to trigger the activation of this ability. His body will be encased into a cloak of darkness as a sign of this ability being triggered, and his eyes will become completely white. They will also glow.
    The harm he must cause to himself must be grave, or else it will not unleash the Shadow Command (Such as piercing his own stomach with his tailblade or claws). The materialized shadows will gradually return to their natural state as time passes, making this ability very difficult to rely on. Their sharpness closely rivals that of enchanted obsidian, a material ranking second on the sharpness scale, while their piercing power closely resembles that of titanium, a material used by humans to pierce through dragon hide (Not with ease, though. Titanium really is something, but it takes quite a while to pierce through the hide of a dragon, specially if the dragon in question has already reached maturity). They last for about thirty seconds each, and have a materialization cooldown of a minute. They can be materialized instantly, however, if he harms himself a second time, although that may cause his demise. Again, this ability is a double-edged knife and his last resort. Upon deactivation, Shadow Command will cause his blood cells to divide much faster than they normally would, granting enhanced regeneration, in order to assure his survival until a healer can take care of his wounds. However, he will be unable to move, as his body will automatically restrain muscle movements in order to focus the bloodstream on the open wounds.

  • Glacial Calling: Corrinus can forcibly lower the temperature of the surrounding atmosphere, causing the condensation and even freezing proccess of the water. He can use that to encase his enemies inside ice coccoons, or to create a nearly unbreakable (Although fire-vulnerable) ice barrier. He can also cause the internal breakdown of atomic combinations due to extremely low temperatures to certain surfaces, such as iron (He can force it to become glass-like, allowing him to break it with ease), stone (Transforming it into gravel) or even dragon hide (Causing it to become thin, weak and vulnerable), but he cannot do this with organic organisms, such as the dragons themselves, humans or animals. This ability takes a huge burden on his body, and can only be used every four posts. He can, however, make usage of a non-lethal, toned down version of this ability once per post. The toned down version is strong enough to force water condensation, to generate mist, and to create ice barriers capable of withstanding many blows before shattering, but that's as far as it goes. It cannot be used to directly harm someone by lowering the temperature to fatal levels. There's a time for the coccoon encasing ability, as he's not some sort of God and thus, cannot create ice out of nowhere, instantly: He must force the water condensation and then, after mist is formed, freeze the water mollecules in order to produce ice. Given that, for the coccoon to be formed, there's a time cooldown of 25 seconds in order to create the first ice layer, and then two minutes to complete the coccoon. The coccoon generation ability is used to restrain his enemies and foes, so then the capable dragons can take care of them.
    The exact temperature he can lower the atmosphere to ranges from, when concentrated on a single spot, about -33 to -41 ° C, or, when used on a disperse area, for about -11 to -27° C. He can only generate ice while concentrating the radius of the "freezing ground" (The nickname he's given to the ability's influence area). This ability is not reliable, as using it will leave him at his foe's mercy, if used on the middle of a fight. Corrinus, however, usually uses this ability amidst the combat only after indulcing his foes to sleep, by breathing his gas, what allows him to coccoon them easily.
    The ice barrier he can create is, actually, mist combined with the ice generated from the trail of his blue fire breath. How thick the barrier is and how many blows it can handle depends solely on the amount of mist concentrated before his blue fire forces it to freeze. The water mollecules on those barriers are tied so strongly that the ice assumes the strength of materials many times stronger and more durable then frozen water, the pinacle being the properties of pure tungsten, known as the hardest metal known to man-kind, only losing to mithril and other magical ores. Generating an ice barrier requires some time, although he can forcibly speed up the proccess. This, however, is known to reduce the temperature of the area far from levels even he can withstand, although for a small amount of time (About a split second. The huge energy that is released from this reaction raises the temperature to surviveable levels about a split second after it being lowered to the fatal point. However, even with this ridiculously low ammount of time, it can already cause at least frostbite), and if those conditions are treated lightly, can and will cause irreparable damage to those around him, or even himself (Such as the loss of an organ, limb, etc).

Weaknesses: His own kindness is a weakness, as of the future, (SPOILER!) he'll reach starvation point in order to feed abandoned dragon hatchlings. He's also not covered all the way through his body with scales, with soft spots on his neck, back and even chestplate, that could and will be used against him. A strong enough blow on those areas is a sure-kill, if he's not treated by a healer soon enough. His coloration, too, is a weakness, as he's easy to spot on the dark. At least, easier than his comrades, it seems. His coloration also sells him out if he tries to hide on snowy areas, as it's awfully easy to spot something blue on the middle of the snow.
He'll do anything he can in order to avoid conflicts, even if it means enduring pain and harm. He also possess a weak health, meaning he's often enough sick.
Also, most, if not all of his abilities are known to be extremely powerful, at the cost of being fatal for himself if used on certain conditions, such as activating the Shadow Command twice in a row (May cause death from bleeding, as the passive regenerative abilities granted by the Shadow Command's deactivation will not have enough time to close the wounds, or even stop his bleeding) or forcing instant Ice creation via the Glacial Calling (May reduce the temperature on the area to a near absolute-zero state, for half a second. The results of this have been explained before). They also require him to stand still for casting, which leaves him vulnerable. Gods, he is a mage, what would you expect from him? To cast things instantly?
Combat Style: He's far too young to fight, and even if he was forced to at this age, he wouldn't. Haven't you read up there that he hates conflicts, fights, or anything of that sort?

Background
History: Sorry to tell you, but he's done nothing until now. Gods, he's a hatchling!
RP Sample: Nothingness. That's all that surrounded him at the time. The Void grew larger and larger, consuming everything he cherished, everyone he loved. Until there was nothing left, but him, floating on the empty space. Then, a light. A cleansing light that banished the darkness away, forever. A voice called from inside it. It was a voice he never heard before, yet, it was so familiar... A calm, kind, motherly voice, that made his heartache stop, that made his mind become clear. Then, a thud. The small dragon opened his eyes, only to find himself on the ground, right next to his nest. "He was sleeping on the top of a rock, and he fell down to the ground, it seems"A passing adult said, while he placed the small dragon back into his nest. He noticed how red his eyes were, and the tears that rolled down his face. However, his expression was not overtaken by sadness. Instead, the warmest smile the little dragon ever beared was there, crossing his whole face. The small hatchling cried his first tears of joy, at such a young age. But, why? Was it the cleansing light? Or was it the voice? He didn't knew. He was still so confused. Yet, the voice would return whenever he felt sad, whenever he doubted himself. And, sooner then later, he discovered that the voice was actually his mother's, her spirit directly calling to him, trying to calm her small child. She would always be with him, and from that point beyond, he knew that.


Last edited by Hirotsukiro on Sun Oct 23, 2016 3:52 pm; edited 17 times in total
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:29 pm

Hey, there.

To start, only FIreWIngs and FIreWing hybrids can breathe fire, so you'll have to change that. Also, so I can better judge whether your abilities are at an acceptable strength, I need to know what percentage of EbonWIng and IceWIng your character is. Please bump when you've done this so we can get your character approved as soon a possible!
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:38 pm

You do know that Icewings can breathe blue fire, right? I can even quote the passage for'ya ("As for powers, the IceWings are famous for their ability to shoot ice, fog, snow, and a variety of other frozen weapons. The way this ice is shot may vary from different dragon. Some ice dragons may shoot this weapon by breathing snow, that freezes into ice when it makes contact. Or the dragon could should icy arrows from their mouths. Then there are the select few that can breath a blue fire, that is so cold its hot, that will leave a big trail of ice in its wake." ). Well, besides that, I'm changing some things right-a-way, mein freund.
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:45 pm

Well, bumpity bump.
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Sly on Sat Sep 24, 2016 8:50 pm

Hey Hiro,

My apologies if we took forever to get back to you, but I will now review your app.

So far, your personalities and such are all good. My major issue is the amount of abilities he possess despite being a hatchling. If he is going to obtain those in the future (i.e. when he reaches maturity) then you will need to state it somewhere that currently he did not have access to them. As of now, for a hatchling, he is overpowered.

As for you strengths, you have described mental strength fairly well but you also needed to include his physical strength at least. Does he major in speed or strength? If so, what are his greatest feats? Please be aware that since he is mostly NW and IW, his average speed needs to sit at 60-70mph.

Assuming your abilities are sealed for the time being, I will now review them individually.

Gas Darts: Corrinus is one of the select few that can breathe blue fire, although his blue fire is a toned down version, given his status as a hybrid. He can, however, use the coldness of it to freeze his "sleeping gas", turning it into small shards of concentrated gas. Those shards, if they ever come to hit the target, will work just as the normal gas would, on a similar way to poison darts work. He can do whatever he desires with said gas "darts", from ground traps to many other usages, such as placing a certain amount of darts somewhere, waiting for it to melt so he can encase nearby dragons on the now disperse gas. There's a limit to how much darts he can produce, as it is not his main breath (The Icewing heritage is stronger), however. He must use this ability carefully, or else he'll run out of gas, and out of energy, as it holds a deep burden on his body. He can even freeze his internal organs if he uses it too much, making the ability a double-edged knife.

Being capable of freezing you own breath to make shards is a good concept, but its not that practical. There is a difference between gas and vapour, and what you are thinking is vapour. How sleep or poison gas works is that it enters the lung and then the bloodstream. Vapours don't do much unless they either are acidic (burn their lungs) or contain diseases to cause pneumonia. Therefore the concept of sleeping 'gas' being able to be frozen is not as viable. You might want to rethink this a bit and determine whether you want vapour or gas.

Shadow Command: Corrinus can force the shadows to move and to materialize at will, allowing him to strike from all sides... If this ability wasn't limited to controlling his own shadow, or of those he's got permission to. It can be pretty useless, at the same time it can be used to change the tides of war. Once materialized, the shadows will not be able to shapeshift, however, they can and will be able to harm anyone and anything. They can pierce easily through dragon hide, and can have their attack direction manipulated at will. However, he cannot force materialization to more than one shadow at a time, and he can only use this every three posts, as he must harm himself in some way in order to trigger the activation of this ability. His body will be encased into a cloak of darkness as a sign of this ability being triggered, and his eyes will become completely white. They will also glow. The harm he must cause to himself must be grave, or else it will not unleash the Shadow Command. The materialized shadows will gradually return to their natural state as time passes, making this ability very difficult to rely on.

I think it would be best if you provide examples as to how grave must he hurt himself before this ability will activate. How fast can these shadows move and how durable are they?

I also don't get the part where he can manipulate direction of attack. Can you provide an example of this?

Glacial Calling: Corrinus can forcibly lower the temperature of the surrounding atmosphere, causing the condensation and even freezing proccess of the water. He can use that to encase his enemies inside ice coccoons, or to create a nearly unbreakable (Although fire-vulnerable) ice barrier. He can also cause the internal breakdown of atomic combinations due to extremely low temperatures to certain surfaces, such as iron (He can force it to become glass-like, allowing him to break it with ease), stone (Transforming it into gravel) or even dragon hide (Causing it to become thin, weak and vulnerable), but he cannot do this with organic organisms, such as the dragons themselves, humans or animals. This ability takes a huge burden on his body, and can only be used every four posts. He can, however, make usage of a non-lethal, toned down version of this ability once per post. The toned down version is strong enough to force water condensation, to generate ice, and to create ice barriers capable of withstanding many blows before shattering, but that's as far as it goes. It cannot be used to directly harm someone by lowering the temperature to fatal levels.

Just how low can he lower the temperature of the atmosphere? Bear in mind that Icewings can only produce ice at -42 degree Celcius, so being able to immediately freeze someone in an ice cocoon is rather overpowered.

--

For your weakness, please indicate areas where his 'soft spots' are. Also, colouration is not a weakness with the way you explained it. Keep in mind darkness means an area is absolved from light, so therefore his scales wouldn't be glinting at all. Also, I doubt blue scales are even that easy to spot thanks to how dark they really look.

--

Bump when you are ready

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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sun Sep 25, 2016 8:06 am

I'm ready for the next evaluation. Bumpity bump.
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:50 am

Well, I guess I'll wait for Sly to finish his review before I continue mine..
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Sly on Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:00 pm

I'm still a bit worried about his ability to form ice cocoons, even that long load-up time before he can do so. Do note that no one is going to be standing there for 25seconds while waiting for ice to form around them, so its not really possible to cocoon one of them. Even if it still manages to work, you are giving your enemies a time limit before they are done in because of the cocoon and get insta-frozen.

I'm not really sure if you can only just force water condensation with such low temperatures, but immediately turn them into icy vapours as well. But even so, I don't think that alone is enough to generate anything requiring a lot more of such vapours to make, like an ice barrier.

Also, as I have stated, your most minimum temperature is -42 degree Celcius. Period.

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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:01 am

Well, trying again. I'm sorry for bothering you constantly in order to evaluate this one.
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Sly on Sun Oct 16, 2016 4:18 am

Please read my review carefully.

Your glacial calling is still going way below the set minimum temperature of this site.

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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sun Oct 16, 2016 3:06 pm

Oh, I think I get it. I was reading fast because I was multi-tasking, but being the most minimum -42º C means that I can't lower the temperature past that, right? If yes, then I shall fix it right away.
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Hirotsukiro on Sat Oct 22, 2016 12:18 pm

Well, bumpity bump, I guess. Is it normal for character applications to pass through proccesses like this, or is it that I made this poorly?
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Sly on Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:43 pm

Yeah, this is usually normal for those wanting to create a combat-competitive character.

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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

Post by Baldirak Sapiens Draco on Sun Oct 23, 2016 6:20 pm

2/2 Approved
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Re: Corrinus, the Prodigy. (Needing approval here, WIP)

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