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OC approval?

Post by Purple Space on Mon Jun 13, 2016 5:37 pm

Personal Info
Name: Purple Space (PS)
Alias: he is often bullied for having a fluffy tail, so fluffy is a common one.
Age: 248
Gender: male
Sexuality: heterosexual    
Personality: acting very professional around newcomers, higher ranked dragons and during fights, but once you get to know him, he can be very fun and playful. is a fan of making friends, he is a bit socially awkward. he is very good with younger dragons. he is extremely childish for his age but can be serious at times. he loves being up high, like on tall rocks or flying above.
Interests: fly around and make up constellations, he looks up at the stars to see what shape he can make out of them. playing with friends and play fighting.
Dislikes: to tell anyone about his weaknesses or fears. also hates talking about the strange puff on his tail. he doesn't like small spaces as well.
Fears: the end of the universe. he himself, doesn't fear death, but he fears the death of others.    
General Appearance
Height: 90
Scales: he has scales that pull together to create a moving image of outer space, but a bit more purple than the space we know of.
Eyes: yellow glowing eyes, no pupils
Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: none (yet)
Inheritance: (will decide once a tribe is picked)
Rank: Scholar
Family: unknown.
Mate: N/A
Hatchlings: N/A

Skills and Abilities
Strengths: he has extremely sharp teeth and claws,most it can cut through is steel, they cant cut through much but it can come in handy, he is also good at dodging most normal dragons, fast dragons on the other claw, he cant dodge quite as well. mentally, amazing with aim,he can hit about any normal dragon, but has a bit more trouble with skywings and other nightwings. mentally, he can think fast, or plan fast, in situations necessary. he also daydreams way to much and its hard to snap him out of it. he is also very smart, he over studied when he was younger and he can explain most things very well.
Special Abilities: anything he does with magic is purple, creating holograms with purple magic, these holograms can be used for about anything he wants them too, but it has no mass so it couldn't hurt anyone, the biggest hologram he can make is a planet. the color of his fire breath is purple, and the color of his fireballs are purple. he only sleeps when hes super tired, but when he is, hes really grumpy.
Weaknesses: embarrassment, if he gets embarrassed to badly he will flee. he is weak to shots from the sky, probably the only things he can cant dodge from normal dragons. he also isn't good with physical attacks. he isn't a fan of water ether, he cant swim well.
Combat Style: cleverness is key.

Background
History: he is not from this dragon universe so here he has a different backstory. he had been a rouge for most of his childhood, as he got older, he was adopted by one of the nightwings who got killed tragically in the war.When he got older, he had met a smaller gray dragon who had no family or home. PS took her in as his own, as someone had done for him. later on, she made best friends with a seawing dragon, keeping it a secret. PS found out didn't think the others would accept this. PS made sure the gray dragon would never see her again. the gray dragon grew insane with anger and ran away. PS grew into deep depression once she left. he went on a journey to find her. he had never found her.
RP Sample: /me looked up as the black crow flew overhead, his eyes illuminated with the moons glow.
PS: there isn't much time, their coming.

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Last edited by Purple Space on Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:35 pm; edited 6 times in total (Reason for editing : redo cuz im bad at this!.)

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Re: OC approval?

Post by Aero Dynamic on Mon Jun 13, 2016 5:44 pm

Hello there! I would just like to comment on this real quick. First of all, did you take a look over the new members guide? Even if it might seem a bit long, it holds a lot of vital information to create your dragon, including the ages of your dragon. Here's a direct quote from the text:

'Dragons have a lifespan that can reach up to 3000 years, though it is rare to see dragons living past 2500 years. In their youth, dragons grow rather quickly, reaching their maturity and a respectable size in around 20-25 years. From then their growth starts to slow down, until they reach 200-250 years. At this point, most dragons almost stop growing, or do so extremely slowly. Compared to a human lifespan, this corresponds to the mark of 40 years. The dragons then continue to grow extremely slowly up to around 1500-2000 years old, point at which they are considered old and start losing their physical prowess (comparable to a 60 years old human).'

And with that in mind, he isn't a StarWing anymore so he couldn't be reincarnated by the stars, or from another universe. I understand that you want the dragon from your comic, but you still have to follow our guidelines. This also isn't fully Wings of Fire, meaning that even if his egg was exposed to the moonlight it wouldn't matter. Predicting the future isn't accepted as it can be manipulated and to OP.

With that, you also need to explain more about his powers and strengths. Is holograms all the can do with this 'purple magic?' How long can he do that? How realistic? How many holograms can he made? These all need to be explained. For his strengths, how sharp are his claws? What can they cut through? Also, if he's amazing at dodging can anything hit him? If he has great aim, can he hit everything, even the fastest SkyWing? These need to be explained, and if he can do those it needs to be toned down. With the camouflage, how does it work? Does he have a black mist that he bends with? That would be more of a special ability, not a mental strength.

Also, he needs weaknesses to counteract his strengths. Right now you have a dragon that can dodge and hit everything and is invisible, yet only flees if scared and doesn't like the color grey. At this point, he's unstoppable by even the gods. You need more physical and mental weaknesses.

For his personality, you also need 5 sentences. It says that in the template, so you need to comply to it. 5 things doesn't count. Get to know you character and how they'd feel in every situation. And we don't use human years anymore.

Instead of reposting your whole app, just edit it and bump the topic either by explaining what you changed or by simply posting with 'bump.' You can also ask one of the staff to look at it from the chatbox.

Please take a look at the New Members Guide and bump when your character has been fixed.
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Re: OC approval?

Post by Purple Space on Tue Jun 14, 2016 12:54 pm

edited

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Re: OC approval?

Post by Aero Dynamic on Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:51 pm

Personality

' acting very professional around newcomers, higher ranked dragons and during fights, but once you get to know him, he can be very fun and playful. is a fan of making friends, he is a bit socially awkward. he is very good with younger dragons. '

Needs to have 5 sentences.

Interests

' fly around and make up constellations. playing with friends and play fighting. '

More descriptive. What do you mean by 'make up constellations?'

Appearance

'he looks as if he is transparent, he has purple scales that pull together to create a moving image of outer space, but a bit more purple than the one we know of. '

More explanation. Is he transparent, purple, or looks like space? Can't be all three.

Rank

' in this universe, Scholar'

He can't be from another universe.

Strengths

' he has extremely sharp teeth and claws,most it can cut through is wood, they cant cut through much but it can come in handy. mentally, he is very good at dodging, amazing with aim,he can hit about any normal dragon, but has a bit more trouble with skywings and other nightwings. and the last thing is that he is fireproof.'

Extremely sharp claws that can only cut through wood, while dragons scales tend to be stronger than wood.
Dodging is not a mental thing, it's a physical thing. He'd have to be really fast to dodge everything. Right now you're just saying that he can picture himself doing it, but he can't execute it well. Also need a limit on what he can dodge.
He can't be fireproof. Not even FireWings are fireproof.
You need to add some mental strengths.

Special Abilities

' camouflage, but he can only camouflage with the night sky due to his coloring. anything he does with magic is purple, creating holograms with purple magic, these holograms can be used for about anything he wants them too, but it has no mass so it couldn't hurt anyone, the biggest hologram he can make is a planet and hardly ever getting tired. no knows why its hard for him to get tired, he only sleeps because hes bored or wants too.'

Purple doesn't blend into the night sky. If he wanted to blend into the sky he'd have to be part LightWing.
What are the holograms even going to be used for if they won't even be convincing?
Size limit should be around as big as a tree.
The bigger they are the more energy they use. No unlimited energy.
Speaking of energy, he can't never get tired. Everyone needs sleep.

Weaknesses

' embarrassment, if he gets embarrassed to badly he will flee. he is weak to shots from the sky, probably the only things he can hardly dodge. he also isn't good with physical attacks. he isn't a fan of water ether, he cant swim well.'

Define shots from the sky, how are they different from shots on the ground?
How is he not good with physical attacks.
If he can't swim well, doesn't that mean he can still swim?
Please add more weaknesses.

Combat Style

' cleverness is key.'

How does he fight.

History

' he is not from this dragon universe so here he has a different backstory. he had been a rouge for most of his childhood, as he got older, he was adopted by one of the nightwings who got killed tragically in the war.When he got older, he had met a smaller gray dragon who had no family or home. PS took her in as his own, as someone had done for him. later on, she made best friends with a seawing dragon, keeping it a secret. PS found out didn't think the others would accept this. PS made sure the gray dragon would never see her again. the gray dragon grew insane with anger and ran away. PS grew into deep depression once she left. he went on a journey to find her. he had never found her.'

Can't be from another universe.
Looking over this it doesn't match with your personality. If he is so playful then why did he not let her have her friend. Also, if he is in deep depression he would still be in it and wouldn't be happy.

RP Sample

' PS looked up as the black crow flew overhead, his eyes illuminated with the moons glow.
PS: there isn't much time, their coming.'


He got rid of seeing the future, so this needs to be changed. Also if you could make it longer that would be great.
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Re: OC approval?

Post by Purple Space on Sun Jul 17, 2016 7:34 pm

its been a while, could you give me some examples of "mental strengths"

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Re: OC approval?

Post by Aero Dynamic on Sun Jul 17, 2016 8:36 pm

Mental strengths would be something along the lines of smartness or not getting easily distracted. Another could be good memory or something along the line of that. Whatever pops into your head.
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Re: OC approval?

Post by Purple Space on Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:42 pm

thanks! and im re-attempting this thing.

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