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Venci the Sinner Empty Venci the Sinner

Post by Venci on Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:00 am

Insert Image Here
Personal Info
Name: Venci
Alias: Sin or Sinner
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: Venci is usually quite and often times found watching from the edge. When there's a gathering he is often found outside out of reach of any light watching the stars. He seems distant and tends to prefer the company of the stars to other dragons. This is due to the calming effect the stars have. With there beauty and shining light and secrets they hold they are like a librarian, they are quite and watching you and hold the knowledge of the world. And the thing that drives Venci to the stars and not other dragons is one thing: the stars cannot lie. This is why Venci is quite, because dragons twist words even true ones into untruths and lies. A star never talks despite holding so much knowledge. This is why he watches from the edge and prefers stars over dragons.
Interests:
Drawing: Though he lacks in the skill in some ways he still trys. He draws when he is sad, angry, lost in his emotions or thoughts. Its his escape and way to express his feelings as they don't often show on his face. When he is found Drawing it is best to leave him alone as he tends to lash out with his tail giving a warning strike of what could happen if you pester him more.

Star gazing: Is is said there are millions of stars in the galaxy and that each time one dies millions more are just being born. Venci loves the stars and is often found out at night among there light, either basking under there radiance or just walking alone out beneath him. It is thought he watches them thinking of how his sister is watching them too as she has the utmost fondness of there beauty. But he too enjoys there beauty and the secrets they have held and seen on the earth below.

Running: Despite his ability to fly he loves running on the ground. And would much prefer to run then fly when the time is not urgent. This is said because he has six legs instead of four. So think twice about racing Venci on the ground without the aid of wings, because it is known that he doesn't often lose if even when it comes to speed on the ground.

Dislikes:
Confined areas: This ties into his fears but isn't as drastic. Venci dislikes cramped or small areas,  As in dense forest he cannot run. In crowed areas he cannot move at the gait he is most comfortable in. He dislikes close contact and would prefer the open fields and sky's to the dense forest or cave systems of others.

When others are being hurt: Venci hates with a passion to see others hurt without a reason or a reason not right. He will lash out in tooth and claw when he see unjust being done.

Being around others he doesn't know: When Venci is near those he does not know he's always on alert, not knowing if he should trust them or not or exspec tto be attacked. Because of this he rather not be around others, but when he is he is often or high guard expecting the worst.

Fears: The thing Venci fears most is losing those close to him...
he also tends to get unsettled in confined areas

General Appearance
Height: He tops out at around 70 feet
Scales: His mane scales are rounded with a point at the tip, being a almost complete bleach white. He also has other scales that appear in different colors and are often ever changing in color depending on his mood that he tends to not show on his face.
Eyes: Fiery orange but can often turn to shades of red, and then blues at times of true peace and calm.
Appearance: Venci is mostly a all bleach white, at the tips of his wings is orange with a line of black behind that. At the second joint of his wing, ears, tail is spots of the same coloring of his wing tips. But these are unique in a way that they tend to glow and change color most often found as passive orange, the glowing can tend to pulse with his emptions as they don't often show on his face. They help as a warning of when to back off or take warning to heed what is happening. He has a leather band around his most forefront right leg. Encrusted with three jewels ranging in the blue color spectrum they tend to change color in the light. The same goes for the cross on his neck with a chain, also encrusted with a jewel, the metal though is gold in color and it was said it was forged with the fires of the sun and tempered with its rays. It is said powers are held within it that Venci draws from. On the left side of his fore leg area and right side of his face, there are swirling marks black in color. No one knows what they are or there purpose. They tend to move or change positions or extend or contract to cover more or less area. It is thought they will move rapidly when in tune with fighting or when he is angry.

Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: LightWings
Inheritance: Pure Breed of a LightWing
Rank: Guard
Family:He is known to have one sister who has not been seen for decades
Mate: N/A
Hatchlings: N/A

Skills and Abilities
Strengths:
Running: Because of his six legs running tends to be more natural or easier for him with the extra footing and claws.
Focusing: Because of his intense focus he is often at times hard to read, his face becomes so emotionless it is thought he kills without thought.
Fighting: With the extra claws and paws they help with the advance moves he uses when in combat or a fight.

Special Abilities: Venci is able to perceive movements often times before the opponent completes them. By focusing in on small details like a claw twitch or blink Venci often knows what the opponent will do before they even completely finish the move. This sometimes allows him to dodge what could be a severe wound, but this isn't always reliable though and often times the opponent quickly catches on. Resulting in false faints that render his ability useless.

Weaknesses:
Fighting in the air: Because of his love for the ground, he often does not have much practice for aerial fights
Running in dense areas:  Because of his style of fighting on the ground and preferring it over the air it is often hard for him to run through thick dense areas, as he tires quickly from having to weave through everything.
Having a life used as leverage: When a hostage is being held for instance and he is told to stand down or they die, he would stand down because its not worth losing lives unnecessarily
Using his ability: Every ability has more than one downfall and one of the worse downfalls is when using his ability Venci can usually be snuck up on. As his concentration is focused on the battle and the little movements which he uses.
Combat Style: Venci often fights using quick maneuvers using the advantage of his extra arms and can quickly turn and still fight at the same time. Always better to have three Pairs of paws instead of two. As with fighting he may often change the color of his glowing areas and lessen others or make them bright to make the opponent lose there attention and focus on the wrong area.

But in return he is hard to read as his face becomes so emotionless it is thought he kills without thought.



Background
History: Venci's history is unknown and sometimes hidden in shadows for he doesn't tell much about it nor can he remember much about it. Lets say its better for both dragon and others to not know it. But it is known because of His nickname Sin or Sinner, it is said he murdered. And the markings may be the steaks of there blood.
RP Sample: When venci first walked into the dense forest he knew instantly something felt wrong. No insect or birds could be heard and even the forest itself seemed quite...dormant like everything was holding its breath as if a predator so great was near and they wished to not be noticed. Venci stood for only a moment hesitating at the threat that could lie within and his ability to fight in the area lacking because of the dense undergrowth. He had to push on, he had duties to complete and dawdling about would not complete them. He strode through the undergrowth, ears swiveling taking in all of what little sounds could be heard In this quite domain.  He stepped on a twig and it was the only sound if for a split second, for after that a roar so loud and lumbering could be heard as it shook the very ground he stood on and the leaves of the trees. Venci frowned as if sadden, oh how he hated the dense forest, but his frown turned into a smile "Oh... how fun a formidable opponent you will be..." Venci smiled teeth showing and a glint appearing in his eye


Last edited by DreamFall-A-New-Era on Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:40 pm; edited 5 times in total

_______________________
"I stood there frozen, my muscles locked in place unwilling to move no matter how hard I tried. I stared into the shadows and multiple pairs of eyes stared back at me, the lowest ten feet off the ground one or two where far higher in the air and that made all the reasoning of the looming shadow below it belong to the figure the eyes sat upon. My eyes widen a large scaly leg reached out of the shadows, claws glistening, razor sharp, they flexed and white teeth appeared below the eyes making the dark seem brighter, but it didn't make the monsters go away. The heavy foot landed and the creature strode forward, as did the others small and big, muscles moved beneath scale, liquid and smooth like the rolling waves. They were so beautiful yet It showed how deadly they could be. My muscle twitched, I tried to move, I couldn't, I was going to die...for I was in the presence of dragons..."
Venci
Venci
LightWing Keeper Of Secrets
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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Aero Dynamic on Sun Jun 05, 2016 1:50 pm

Hello, I'm Aero Dynamic a forum moderator here and I'll be reviewing your app.

Personality
This needs to have at least 5 sentences, I only see 3. What does he do when he's mad, sad, ect.?

Inheritance
Just need to add what he's a pure breed of.

Strengths
Needs to be explained how they are strengths.

Special Abilities
That one needs some weaknesses. Saying that his face is hard to read is just another advantage, and should probably be put under strengths.

Weaknesses
If he can tell what his opponent is going to do, how does that make him worse at fighting in the air? You also need to explain what makes these weaknesses.

~~

Bump when finished
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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Aero Dynamic on Sun Jun 05, 2016 8:00 pm

1/2 Approved
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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Ignatius Sikum on Sun Jun 05, 2016 8:26 pm

Hello!! I just want you to change something before I am happy with this little character being approved.

You state that;
DreamFall-A-New-Era wrote:Venci is able to perceive movements often times before the opponent does, by focusing in on small details like a claw twitch or blink he often knows what the opponent will do before they even do, this isn't always reliable though and often times the opponent quickly catches on. Resulting in false faints that render his ability useless.

I need you to change this because that's basically being able to see into the future, especially with what you said here: he often knows what the opponent will do before they even do. This, not only is impossible to do, but can also be manipulated into metaplaying, which is not allowed on this site.

What I mean by this is, say a dragon went to bite your character, you can retaliate with something like; "Seeing the claw being clenched, he knew what was coming next. To prevent their next attack from hurting him, he preforms a perfect counter attack to snap their arm."

This sort of thing is a bit too strong, giving your character the ability to see into a future that doesn't even exist yet, and is too over powered. I would reccomend changing this ability to something that is slightly less over powered. Change the fact that he can see opponents move before they even think of it would be a good place to start.

Bump when you are done ^^

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Venci the Sinner Monster_hunter___teostra_by_zedotagger-d8xz4bz
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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Venci on Mon Jun 06, 2016 5:09 am

I don't know if this is how you bump it or not, sorry. >.<

_______________________
"I stood there frozen, my muscles locked in place unwilling to move no matter how hard I tried. I stared into the shadows and multiple pairs of eyes stared back at me, the lowest ten feet off the ground one or two where far higher in the air and that made all the reasoning of the looming shadow below it belong to the figure the eyes sat upon. My eyes widen a large scaly leg reached out of the shadows, claws glistening, razor sharp, they flexed and white teeth appeared below the eyes making the dark seem brighter, but it didn't make the monsters go away. The heavy foot landed and the creature strode forward, as did the others small and big, muscles moved beneath scale, liquid and smooth like the rolling waves. They were so beautiful yet It showed how deadly they could be. My muscle twitched, I tried to move, I couldn't, I was going to die...for I was in the presence of dragons..."
Venci
Venci
LightWing Keeper Of Secrets
LightWing Keeper Of Secrets

Male Virgo Tiger
Posts : 12
Reputation : 1
Age : 21
Location : Far byound the reaches of all corrupted souls

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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Ignatius Sikum on Mon Jun 06, 2016 4:08 pm

What you did was what we call bumping ^^ sorry for the late review though.

Still I am a bit iffy with your special ability.
DreamFall-A-New-Era wrote:...by focusing in on small details like a claw twitch or blink he often knows what the opponent will do before they even completely finish the move.

If your opponent has already started the move, they probably already know what they are doing as they have planned it. If they hadn't planned it, then why would they be attacking? Razz Aside from this section here with your ability, I am fine with what you have written.

I would recommend also editing it to something more general because if he is focusing completely on a single claw, then he would miss other moves like a tail, wing or breath attack. If he could make predictions based off patterns which he saw over time in the fight, then this ability will be fine.

And please, if you wouldn't mind, break up your special ability into sentences instead of having one giant sentence which says everything.

Bump when you have edited it!

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Venci the Sinner Empty Re: Venci the Sinner

Post by Ignatius Sikum on Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:45 pm

Talked about in chat box and minor changes were made.

2/2 approved!!

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Venci the Sinner Monster_hunter___teostra_by_zedotagger-d8xz4bz
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