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Blazebreather of the FireWings

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Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Sun May 01, 2016 1:15 pm

[/b]
Personal Info
Name: Blazebreather
Alias: N/A
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: Kind, caring, brave, loyal, and smart, but is hotheaded and competitive, just as a little summary. He will defend those he loves with his life and that secures an unwavering loyalty between them. He can be a bit hotheaded though and will never back down from a challenge. He is also stubborn and hates to lose. He can be easily offended, but the reaction is usually just an angry scowl. Besides that, he's really kind and helpful and it has earned him a good reputation among the FireWings. He is very intelligent and can point out the weak spots of his enemies (right after fighting them for a little bit) and almost always wins a fight because of this. He is also very cautious and is the "look before you leap" type of people
Interests: Fire, swimming in lava, family, and hunting
Dislikes: Flying too long, the cold (Even though he's resistant to it), and he doesn't like losing
Fears: He is afraid of poisonous/venomous animals
General Appearance
Height: 50 ft.
Scales: Bright red base scales
Eyes: Yellow eyes with black slit pupils
Appearance: Bright red with black horns, spikes, tail tip, and wing membrane. Has two pointed horns facing away from his head and has a axe-like blade on his tail. Also, he has talons instead of paws. Finally, he has small, pointed external ears (not pictured)

Tribe Information and Status
Tribe: FireWings
Inheritance: Pure FireWing
Rank: Guardian
Family: Ember (Mother), Firestorm (Father), Blaze (sister), Magma (brother)
Mate: N/A
Hatchlings: N/A

Skills and Abilities
Strengths: Great at fighting and flight, and he is not bad at hunting. He also is resistant to cold by radiating heat, heating up the air around him
Special Abilities: Has normal FireWing abilities
Weaknesses: He is weak to the acid of EarthWings. Though it's corrosive to all materials, he gets the worse end of it. A direct blast can kill him and will easily burn through his skin, flesh, and bones. Needless to say, he is very weak to it and he does not like fighting EarthWings and will back down from a chance to fight him if it's an option (unless the EarthWing agrees not to use a lot of it or none of it). He also stops radiating heat after a couple of hours, and if in a cold climate, he can get cold easily from it, but he'll start again after 1.5-2.5 hours
Combat Style: He prefers to strike hard and quick multiple times

Background
History: TBD
RP Sample: Blazebreather flew around a volcano of the FireWings' territory. He then flew towards a ledge on it to rest his wings from flying. He had been patrolling the borders for over three hours, flying the entire time. Once he landed on it, he dug his talons into the ledge and fanned out his wings. After awhile, he let go of the ledge and flew back to his home


Last edited by Blazebreather on Tue May 03, 2016 2:45 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Blazebreather

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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Aero Dynamic on Sun May 01, 2016 1:44 pm

Hello. I'm Aero, a forum moderator as you've met earlier. I'll be reviewing your app today.

First of all, I see that you've bolded everything, would you want me to fix that or you to? The only things in bold should be the things like 'Name:' or 'Tribe:'

Personality
'Kind, caring, brave, loyal, and smart, but is hotheaded and competitive'

This needs to be five sentences long, explaining how he feels and acts when he's like this. Get to know your character better through this, feel his moods.

Dislikes
'Flying too long, the cold (Even though he's resistant to it)'

First off all, we require three dislikes, and I only see two. Also, how is he resistant to the cold? If anything it'd be the opposite of that, seeing as he's a FireWing.

Weaknesses
'He is weak to the acid of EarthWings'

Can you explain more how he is weak to this? What does it do to him?

Also, you might want to think of more weaknesses and strengths, and try to explain them more. How strong is he? How fast can he fly? Is he a fast or slow thinker? Does he think before he acts? If you need more ideas, go and check other people's characters.

--

Please fix this things and bump when ready.
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Aero Dynamic

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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Sun May 01, 2016 1:58 pm

Aero Dynamic wrote:Hello. I'm Aero, a forum moderator as you've met earlier. I'll be reviewing your app today.

First of all, I see that you've bolded everything, would you want me to fix that or you to? The only things in bold should be the things like 'Name:' or 'Tribe:'

Personality
'Kind, caring, brave, loyal, and smart, but is hotheaded and competitive'

This needs to be five sentences long, explaining how he feels and acts when he's like this. Get to know your character better through this, feel his moods.

Dislikes
'Flying too long, the cold (Even though he's resistant to it)'

First off all, we require three dislikes, and I only see two. Also, how is he resistant to the cold? If anything it'd be the opposite of that, seeing as he's a FireWing.

Weaknesses
'He is weak to the acid of EarthWings'

Can you explain more how he is weak to this? What does it do to him?

Also, you might want to think of more weaknesses and strengths, and try to explain them more. How strong is he? How fast can he fly? Is he a fast or slow thinker? Does he think before he acts? If you need more ideas, go and check other people's characters.

--

Please fix this things and bump when ready.

OK. I might not fix it right now, though
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Sun May 01, 2016 3:19 pm

Aero Dynamic wrote:Hello. I'm Aero, a forum moderator as you've met earlier. I'll be reviewing your app today.

First of all, I see that you've bolded everything, would you want me to fix that or you to? The only things in bold should be the things like 'Name:' or 'Tribe:'

Personality
'Kind, caring, brave, loyal, and smart, but is hotheaded and competitive'

This needs to be five sentences long, explaining how he feels and acts when he's like this. Get to know your character better through this, feel his moods.

Dislikes
'Flying too long, the cold (Even though he's resistant to it)'

First off all, we require three dislikes, and I only see two. Also, how is he resistant to the cold? If anything it'd be the opposite of that, seeing as he's a FireWing.

Weaknesses
'He is weak to the acid of EarthWings'

Can you explain more how he is weak to this? What does it do to him?

Also, you might want to think of more weaknesses and strengths, and try to explain them more. How strong is he? How fast can he fly? Is he a fast or slow thinker? Does he think before he acts? If you need more ideas, go and check other people's characters.

--

Please fix this things and bump when ready.

Bump! I'm ready to be re-judged!
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Aero Dynamic on Mon May 02, 2016 5:59 pm

Looking good ^^

Personality

A lot of these can be put in different spots, and will be listed more below. But for now, ' He is very intelligent and can point out the weak spots of his enemies and almost always wins a fight because of this.' This can go under Combat Style, and needs to be tweaked a little. He couldn't just know off the bat about their weaknesses, he'd have to observe and try to figure them out.

Strengths

'(PS, he's resistant to cold because he generates/radiates heat and it heats up the cold air around him, allowing him to fell little cold '

You want to put the resistant to the cold under strengths, because that would be considered as a weakness. Instead of having it as a PS there, just move that whole thing into Strengths.

Weaknesses

For cold resistance you'd need a weakness for it. You could put how cold it needs to be or how long he stays in the cold before he can't radiate more heat or starts to get cold. Being easily offended could be considered a weakness, but with his reaction it might be fine. Weaknesses also includes mental weaknesses, same with mental strengths.

--

Apart from that, you don't need to quote what I say every time you repost. All in all it just ends up taking more space and is unneeded to be resaid again. This goes for most things on this forum. You also don't need to reply saying you'll fix it later, and is just me letting you know ^^
And do you want me to fix your 'everything is bold' problem so that it's easier to read and fits in more with the template?

Other than that, please fix and bump when ready.
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Mon May 02, 2016 6:58 pm

I've kinda given up on this
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Aero Dynamic on Mon May 02, 2016 7:58 pm

But you're so close to having this done! And this is only a one time thing unless you want to take it out for edits, but for edits you already have a good baseline to go off of. For the cold all you need to do is copy and paste the PS part, then just give a brief explanation in weaknesses. You've already come so far, why give up now?
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Tue May 03, 2016 5:30 am

I'll keep doing it
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Blazebreather on Tue May 03, 2016 2:46 pm

Bump
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Re: Blazebreather of the FireWings

Post by Aero Dynamic on Tue May 03, 2016 10:45 pm

APPROVED~
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